:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
