Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
