I wish I could punch you in the face.
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
