I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I'm having to shit out rocks
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
