It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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