i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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