im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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