its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I believe in your delicious
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
