Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
you never un-have a 4some
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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