Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I want her autograph on my taint
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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