My liver just broke up with me...
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
