At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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