he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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