The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
