I'm eating all of the evidence.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
