you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
