i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
