youre lurking in front of me
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
