she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
