I'm jealous of your bromance
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
50% drunk capacity currently
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
i think my cat just said my name.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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