Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
