how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
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