so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
