Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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