Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
