Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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