True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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