There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
