k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
In other news, I just burned my penis
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
