She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
