wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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