Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
