Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
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