u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
