I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Randomize
