Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
