people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
