I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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