If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
