great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize