I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
