I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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