wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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