I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
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