I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
