I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Randomize
