Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
