NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
