Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize