he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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