oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
