Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
