There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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