Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
