I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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