My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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