Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
