Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
