They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
